wachuka n thots

This week my baby turned eighteen. What a wonderful experience. Where did the time go, just the other day this boy was born. I remember like it was yesterday the day he was born. I cant see the laces where time went to. One day a little energetic little bomb of energy and in no time a six foot young man gentle and loving.  Rikis birthday every year falls while he is in school this year we intended to do it differently, postpone and celebrate in December during his school break. This in collabo with beautiful Rigz who was so gracious to accept.  See, Rigz was born in December so all her birthdays have been while she is home. So did that happen, no because man plans but God orders our steps . We lost Mama on the same weekend we planned to celebrate Riki and Rigz birthdays.  Let me tell you about Riki, he is the boy that I got when  was aware of exactly what I was doing, old enough to make the decision to bring forth another human being who will be solely dependen...

In English we say: "Why wasn't I enough?" But in poetry we say: "I wore the masks you chose for me, swallowed the words you didn't want to hear, and built myself around your anger, yet your eyes never softened when they looked at me." In English, we say: "You didn't reply." But in poetry, we say: "Your silence said what your words couldn't." In English, we say: "I overthink." But in poetry, we say: "I replay your words a thousand times, searching for a meaning you never meant."

 Dear God,  I am writing this after a provocation, thank you for sending Mwende to remind me that you are still on the throne. Wah I have been crying cursing and wondering but You have just been there telling me it's gonna be okay, mbona sikuskia.  Today I am still sad tears fall down my cheeks but I have hope, I keep saying you have brought me thus far but I have never looked at it from your perspective, thank you for refocusing my view.  I am not seeing clearly yet but I know with certaintyokay that the cloud ahead will clear.  In 2020 when I was locked down in Yemen, I saw you work wonders, these children of mine showed a maturity I did not know they possessed, I will never forget the list of items Riki wrote for the items they needed for stockpiling, it looked like it was written by an expert in emergency planning God, my boy included sanitary towels for the girls in that list, Panadol band-aids and a lot of disinfectants, that list came from you. I remember...

 My mother has gone through pain, I feel it physically I see it in her eyes, but my mother is a strong person.  My mothers childhood is a blur up until she got married to my dad its difficult to decipher what happened to her, I know she lost both her parents when she was very young, her mother maybe when she was like 6 or 7 and her father who was already absent working in Nairobi before she was a teenager maybe at 11/12.  The pain of her childhood having to care for her younger sister and to live with relatives is something she does not talk much about.  My mother was married when she was 16/18 (I don't know for sure I just guess from calculations in history) in the year 1956 her marriage to my father was not out of love but out of necessity at the height of the emergency (1952-1958) being an orphaned girl with no protection (male protector) as her elder brother was in Nairobi. My father himself only a few years older was a good choice as he was a student and that me...

 Today a new chapter in our lives begins. My child my firstborn, my baby my sweet Warigia is no longer a child but a young adult. Sherlyn Warigia aka Rigz turns 18 today drum beats .............  I thank God for the grace of being a mother He chose me for this wonderful child His gift to me wrapped in the most wonderful person I ever knew.  God you have been faithful, you have heard each cry and answered each prayer, you have directed my path in this journey and I say, Ahsante Baba. Your Holy Spirit has been the guiding principle that has lit the path we have taken and through His divine wisdom guided me to make the right choices for this child and for this, I say Ahsante Muumba. Your son has been the gentle reminder of the sacrifices he made on Calvary for me and mankind and His example has made me learn to sacrifice and carry my cross obediently and for this, I say Ahsante Mwokozi.  I thank you, my mama, you have been a constant in this child's life, we do not know...

Copied from 40 days of fasting by Father CK  This is my declaration over my family: Abba Father I call on Your Name. I know the plans you have for us as a family. Plans to prosper us and give us peace. Plans that we should call on the Name of the Lord! You will let us find You and answer our prayers. Therefore I renounce, reject, cancel & cast out all evil directed towards my family by removing all uncleanness. Destroy all family bloodlines back to Adam and Eve and 10 generations ahead. We don’t allow approve or tolerate any evil to come our way in Jesus Name. Amen.