wachuka n thots

Happy birthday Rigz as you turn 13 today Where did time go?, I ask, when did you grow? As you officially enter teenage Rigz, I want to repeat the promises I made to you when you were born, be your mother to care tend and nurture, your friend for a shoulder to lean on your supporter and champion in all you do and your confidant. As you enter this age that separates you from childhood and veers you into adulthood, I want you to remember that I am your compass when you get lost think of me and you will know your true North and from hence you will get your direction back home. I want you to know that your friends may seem more important than us now and its OK but remember the values you have learned and don't sacrifice your character so you can look trendy, sometimes its OK to stand alone on firm ground. As from today you start a journey that may have turns and bends unfamiliar, ask and seek guidance, there is no shame in not knowing. Other hobbies will start interesti

Day by day I think of no other and as night nears,  I want you nearer .  If a kiss is what you want,   be it there or anywhere else  You have it my honey  For I want you to drink from the well of my pit. My bosom heaves with wonder,  as I await that tender touch  and when you touch me there,   I know I will not dare breathe again I had the taste,  And all nights, I dream of sucking it with my mouth A man reserves his true and deepest love,   not for the species of woman,   in whose company he finds himself electrified and en kindled,  but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy Then we will wait patiently for that day of wonder,  when we shall not speak but feel,  And let our hearts talk to each other A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,  And man cannot live without love,  I love you and you are my sunshine

Dear God as my children start a new term today, guide protect and lead them to have a wonderful time with their friends and teachers. They spend more time in school than at home and so I pray that the school will be a friendly place for them and their friends. Let them grow in learning not just the subjects that grow the brain but also the values that grow the character, let.them learn the virtues that will make them walk in your spirit and be right with their teachers and fellows. Grant them good health of body and mind and a firm belief in you. Lord help their teachers to have the patience to deal with their activity and impatience and the wisdom to guide them in the right path. Help me to play my part and support their endeavour. Thank you for your continued love. For this and much more I pray. Amen.

Dear sisters and myself at the end of a relationship as you rant about how bad he was and all the nasty names you call him, breathe, inhale, exhale then make a list of all the things you did not do right, yes you are not as holy as you imagine you are in this, it is your fault as much as it is his. Even if your list starts with how foolish could I be, do it name every little fault of his and exaggerate it 100 times but make your list too even if you downplay it to almost 0% influence to the breakup. Its only when we are able to see what we did wrong in relating with others that we can actually grow and avoid making the same mistakes. Then my sisters you will stop feeling like you only attract losers. And by the way losers are not so bad, they may not help us know want we want in a relationship but with them we get to know exactly what we do not want. Have a great day. Whatever you do breath.

We struggle so much for so little, a little attention there, some recognition here, applause, name them and like flies on fresh shit we hover around to have our buzzing heard for attention. We are fanned away, but like the flies we retreat only a little and are back on the item to get a little bit of something. We end up dying trying to impress those who don't even notice us. We don't even see the ones who genuinely interested in us. They pass us with out us even offering a glance as we are busy hovering over shit. We are preoccupied with that shit and our search for attention and this from the wrong quarters. Then one day we look back and wonder, where are we?, what happened? how did we end up here? But by then, we have noticed like the fly (if we are not dead yet) the shit has dried up it is no longer alluring. Unfortunately those we ignored and did not pay attention to are gone too. Wacha tabia ya nzi kung'ang'ania mavi

Its hard to distinguish between mapaja na mapacha unless you know the story of fungua mapaja upate mapacha. If I die I want it to be said that there lies a great woman, I know I will not hear it but it is important for all those who will come after me.  Also let them say there in that mound that now lies docile lived a very active soul, I would also like them to say she was a survivor to the end ironic ah yes please. Mama you make me proud, I always thought I was the one who was destined to do so but each day I see I can never make you as proud as you make me. If there is need to gain the whole world let me start by gaining my soul for what is the need to gain the whole world and lose that one part where I can dwell Man is born free but everywhere he goes he is in chains sometimes put on by himself Eat when you are hungry and pleas do it in the right ratios. A rhino will not stop to attach you because you are a vegetarian just as a lion will not stop to kill you because you

22.10.11 Pole Riki had to leave you, you must wonder why? Mummy is a busy woman and this is for the good of all of us.  Riki had to ride in the taxi with me till outside the gate, Rigz did not even say goodbye. I feel so guilty having to leave them like this. I miss them already, so much  At JKIA its 9.05pm, I thought I would be late, wait till 9.30pm to be checked in and yes nothing unusual there. 5.00am arrive Dubai, they said a lay over I did not realize it had nothing to do with lying down, walk up and down the many malls wanting to buy something but each time converting to Kenya shillings, woi thought it was duty free, 4 hours later I am at the boarding gate of my next flight to Dhaka. Hawa watu wataisha kweli kwa hii line? Eih na kusukumwa nayo kwani ni number 58 na tuko na a whole hour to check in. 5.00pm arrive Dhaka and ooh I have no visa but that's easy go to bank and pay 51USD and viola but sasa niende wapi. There are four big, no humongous belts in a big room. A

This is written in the middle of the night when I feel so ful of power and equally powerless. Power is a good thing that is mostly used in a bad way. The people who are perceived to have power, use it to impose their positions wishes and demands to those of lesser power. While those with lesser power use their position to blackmail and unfairly accuse those in power and in so doing refuse to take responsibility. A child who is hungry hears the mothers struggling voice as she tries to explain the situation, at such a point the child is making the mother vulnerable and blaming her for not caring or feeding her even if there was an opportunity offered before. The same mother makes the older brother of the child eat vegetables just because she provided then no matter how horrible it tastes. And so is life

Recently I realized I have to put things in this page I have been writing on separate note books scribbling away and not caring But now with this new age I realize its such a waste of time to scribble then type later so each day I will write something. Now I write bout love yes you wonder, and yes I do, of course from what might have been, what is and what is missing and what is possible. I write about politics, kitchen cabinets and sibling rivalry including blackmailing children and parents, I write about my babies no longer babies I write about my work, stories of what I do, how where when and with whom, but also of people made into statistics to give them a face. Then I write about experiences mine others, I quote, misquote etc But mostly I just pen away, to let my mind wander meander and spew this thoughts I hold dear. Sometimes I put it as it is sometimes hidden in flowery verbose other times in boring simple language What  I want to do is just pass this time but also ke