wachuka n thots

29th July 2013 Today I decided to start keeping a diary of my stay here I may use it I may not.  I arrived here on 8th of July having spent a day in Dubai. Where are the bombed places? I have yet to see a suicide bomb attack....then why cant I go to the neighbours. Life for the past three, weeks has not be so hard as I had expected thats why they say expect less.  It is ok to be here, of course I miss my babies and my sweetheart and family and friends even the jam.  But its ok I have more time to reflect to get into perspective and to visit my psych. Its too hot thats why I am sitting out here to atleast enjoy the breeze.  I already talked to Riki I am happy today we had a conversation.  Since I left Nairobi its always Mama I want a token( blue band has a competion) or Mama now that you are not here can I watch cartoons, this boy really knows how to apply charm.  Now Rigz has joined the scouts I wish I was there to see her march out on ...

I am a woman by all means. Yes a little on the weighty side that's African and with a college degree to boot. I wake up at 5am and do not go to bed before midnight.  From 8am to 5pm sometimes 6 ,7 or 8, sometimes longer,  I toil in somebody else's creative designed work(that's what they think whom am I to judge) . Not that I am not creative myself but I am still climbing this ladder albeit slower than I had anticipated.  I have two children they could be three but the number is just fine I can't complain at least I have a boy and a girl every mothers perfect number. My day starts with snoozing the alarm till I can't bare it any more and boy do I have anything to wear today, oh what day is it. If its Monday it has to be a tailored suit previously owned across the oceans I like to fantasize who could have had this figure since it fits just OK if we ignore the over stretched button area. I cannot have breakfast since you know this third world countries with their m...

Forgive Me for Liking You too much, I'll forgive You for not liking Me enough.. Forgive Me for the loud racing of My Heart, I'll forgive You for not hearing it. Forgive Me for finding You amazing, I'll forgive You for never noticing.. Forgive Me for wanting to be with You more than anything, I'll forgive You for avoiding Me.. Forgive Me for not being able to let go, I'll forgive You for never holding on.!!  copied

Why should my heart skip a bit when I see your face, why should it do this even when my conscious self is asleep and my subconscious is in control.  Why should I continue thinking about you long after you are gone. Explain why I keep coming back even after you have said it is over.  Why should my heart go on singing even where it should be mourning. Why do I keep passing that place where I first saw you smiling, then I thought it was at me. Why do I still want to believe the smile was for me even after my mind has understood it was just a trap a snare to lure me to you.  Explain my dear why I cannot see another when I know I can never be yours. Why do I still wait eagerly for the phone to ring though I know you are never calling again. Your number from my cell I need not delete for I know it off head.  Explain to me why the only smell I know is of your cologne, mixed with sweat and why it is the sweetest smell for me.  Tell me my dear why even when I ask all th...

Day by day I think of no other and as night nears I want you nearer and if a kiss is what you want,  you have it my honey, for I want you to drink from the well of my pit. My bosom heaves with wonder as I await that tender touch, and when you touch me  I know I will not dare breath again I am electrified though it's so calm. I had the taste, and all night, I dream of going back there to devour of that great place where I first felt warm A man reserves his true and deepest love, not for the species of the woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and en-kindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy Then we will wait patiently for that day of wonder when we shall not speak but feel and let our hearts talk to each other and our souls as they wonder meet each other far yonder A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love, I love u and you are my sunshine Some parts are copied or adapted

Most often than not we get lost in the things that we do as routine, working hard to achieve goals, loving family and friends, keeping relationships and just moving on with life.  What we don't stop to think is are these things really things we love to do? Do I love the work I diligently give my all in  or am I doing it for my daily bread? Since we have to eke a living anyway we get lost in doing what we do day in day out even if it bores us to death.   We hate some aspects of our lives, relationships, commitments or even routines but we do them anyway.  There is nothing wrong with doing all this as we have to get by, however, choose something you love to do and dedicate time and energy to do it once in a while.  Do this however tired or pressed for time you are.   After sometime when all else is no longer useful, when you have had all the money you needed or lack it, when the kids are all grown up, when the marriage or relationship is no mor...

The greatest command God has given us is love. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.' No other commandment is greater than this." Mark 12:31    Love summarizes all the other commands.   Jesus makes it even harder for us He says if you Love your friends that’s nothing even pagans do so, you are better of if you love your enemy Luke 6:35   Rather, love your enemies, help them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then you will have a great reward. You will be the children of the Most High God. After all, he is kind to unthankful and evil people.   So these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the best one of these is love. 1Cor 13:13 The Bible time and again gives us great examples of God’s immense love for us mankind.   The sum total of this love is the love our savior had for us that He went as far as dying for us on the cross. The people of Jesus’ time were the most difficult; they had stayed rooted in their wron...