wachuka n thots

 First written on my note book in April 2020 amid the corona pandemic 1.  Thank you Jehovah for all the good things that have happened to me; life, just being alive and healthy is a gift from you and I don't take it for granted. Love, family, children, health, providence, sustenance, home opportunities, education, experiences, friends and many more.  I am counting my blessings amid fears and also during good times  2.  I thank you for all the not so good things, the bad, the ugly and the terrible; loss, death, sickness, poverty, loss of money, loss of love, pain, theft, swindling, sins committed to me, sins I committed, sins of omission, injustices to me and to others, lost time, lost opportunities, oppression, abuse, shame, guilt, the corona menace and many more.  I am remembering that God you put me through these hard times and trust you will pull me through always, I am at a better place. Even corona will end.  3.  I thank you for the things in...

   Today 16 years ago my baby girl come to this world and our lives have never been the same. Your smile brighten our hearts, your love warms our house you are a jewel and I love you more each day. When I asked what we could do for her birthday she said she would bake her own cake (yes she has done this for the last 2 birthdays) and we just chill at home. That's the kind of person she is, likes her circle small, actually very small, I suggested she invites a bunch of friends for the party, she said she only has 3 friends. So with four friends and myself we are having a girls only party for two days. Rigz you have grown to be a strong and brave girl but you have never lost your charm, you are still the beautiful smiling baby we know. I thank God each day for giving you to me, just the way you are. You are my pride and joy. As you start this new chapter of your life, the age all women want to remain, sweet sixteen I pray that God goes before and besides you, that you may wa...

I have been always thankful for the things I have but its always at a very general point of view, so today after talking to a colleague a thought crossed my mind to put this list together of the things I am thankful for. This is going to grow and I am sure will never fill since I have so much to be grateful for. 1. Health   I am 44 years old, all my faculties are pretty fine, I hear well, I see well, I am fully healthy I can walk I can run I can use pretty much of all the parts of my body after all these 40+ years. 2. Love I am talking of being loved and loving back and I have had this experience in all its forms, in the naive thinking of love solves all heals all and all the shenanigans, in the intelligent and calculated form of give and take and in the understanding of maturity that it is ok not to have it. 3. Family My children are my joy and happiness and I already forgot how to live without them, my mama is my pillar and strength and my brother and sister add to ...

This Lent I want things to be different and I had decided to cut off all animal protein; meat, chicken fish and all their products but God forgive me I had to reintroduce some products for lack of variety in sourcing plant-based protein, I ate beans for a whole week and gosh vegetarians are so strong. This is not the aim of this post. Its aim is to look at fasting from a very personal and rewarding position. In the olden days' meat was chosen because of its central position in festivities, that is not the case today so it's important to abstain and fast from things that will create a personal challenge and spiritual change.  The pope has a list of things to fast from that makes so much sense; 1. Fast from hurting words and say kind words 2. Fast from sadness and be filled with gratitude 3. Fast from anger and be filled with patience 4. Fast from pessimism and be filled with hope 5. Fast from complaints and contemplate simplicity 6. Fast from pressure and be praye...

Today I say God is wonderful for thus far we have come  Rigz turns 15 and we are gladly rejoicing in the doing of the almighty.  On a day like today 15 years ago you came to the world and made your position in our family known, the first in all and the last by name; Warigia. You are the child that God chose to use to make me take the big step from being just me to being a co-creator with Him, I am humbled that He indeed chose to give me that great responsibility to care for His most precious gift; for you indeed are precious, beautiful, loving and Gods perfect gift to our family. As you turn a year older today I thank God for the far He has brought us and continue to pray that He blesses you abundantly, with more beauty, cheer and favour, may you grow in His love and wisdom, may you conquer all and may you have limitless opportunity for His glory and praise. Today I rededicate the promise I made to you on that day you were born that I will be the best I can be f...

Today I kissed the devil, or is it I left the devil kiss me? Why do I have to feel so bad about something so good? Why does this wrong thing I do seem so right? The adrenalin rush, the excitement and the oomph feeling are incomprehensible? In the arms of the devil I felt safe and secure, they say the devil is in the detail, I will spare you that detail. The devil is a liar and has ugly horns, that's what they say. Oh, they are so wrong, sometimes he comes telling truths and looking so hot. The devil lives within my mind, he comes out in desires long barren and forgotten. He comes when I see all these wrong things and they seem so right. he does not slither like a dangerous snake or hide in the bushes ready to spike. Oh, he comes in confidence and swagger, he is smooth and sweet. Before I know it I am inviting him to my table and did I say he does not disappoint, the gentleman he is. I tell you it is only after you have kissed the devil, long after the snake has taken its form...

The phone rings and I hurriedly pick with a smile coz I knew you would feel the smile over the network, but alas it is not you. what a wasted effort, the telemarketer must think am a very happy person. The whole day I spend my time looking at the phone willing it to ring, hoping it is you, oh it is not, the third ring from the church reminding me of the parish commitment I made, how am I going to tell the priest we cannot make it, this is the third time I have to make an excuse for us. I have to let go accept you are never coming back. I hear a doorbell and almost break my leg rushing to open. I tell myself, your battery ran off, you were arrested, mugged, robbed off your phone, lost your phone etc., oh the trust I have in you. Its the girls scouts selling cookies, I give them some coins and they say we had promised to attend their parade. what can I say? I say yes we will be there for both of us even though I do not believe it. The whole night I keep vigil listening every time I he...